For everything we do, there is always a reason. Everything. Now sometimes we don’t know what the reason is, partly because we don’t take the time to track it back to identify what the reason might be for that action or decision we made, but there is always a reason. That is a truth.
Whatever it is, there is a reason behind everything that we do. Many of us, however, are not consciously aware of this truth. We may be quick to identify the perceived reasons when we experience a victory, but we might be less likely to identify the real reasons behind the challenges and difficulties in our lives.
We are all challenged to some degree. As we are moving forward with our lives, as we are evolving in our relationships with someone that we really care about, there is always going to be something around that is going to challenge us. There is no way out of this. In fact, the only way out of this is to literally go into this. This is another truth. Now, it might take you a little while to prove that truth to yourself, but that is the truth. The only way out of our stuff is to courageously and responsibly go into our stuff.
Many people are invited to the seminars, but not all of them come. In fact, one of the reasons why people don’t make it to a seminar is because something happened within them. They got activated, so to speak, with something that was uncomfortable and was already challenging them. Maybe they didn’t recognize it as such. As a result though, from their perspective they chose not to come. In 37 years of teaching, people have become activated in my classes over and over again. Activated, meaning their stuff would come up. This stuff is the baggage that has not yet been resolved from their past—it’s their issues—whatever they are. This stuff sits in the storage bin of their subconscious. Then it just becomes a question of time when something will happen in their lives and/or relationships that will trigger some aspect of this old baggage; and there they will be in that activated energy.
This activated energy can, however, make them aware of something they need to heal if they choose to look at it. In order to truly heal and resolve our baggage, we must first be willing to actually see whatever it is that we are now choosing to heal. Until we are able to recognize this stuff, there can be no clearing or resolution of it.
What I’ve seen so many times over the years are good marriages, good friendships, and good partnerships be destroyed. What I have seen from my view and place of experience, this is why—this is it right here: It is because one or both members of that relationship or partnership were not yet willing to look at their own stuff; they weren’t yet willing to be responsible for their own unresolved issues from their past. They are just dragging it forward with them. Most are not even aware they are doing this. And so this idea of the activation—when we get activated—can create havoc in our lives without the awareness of what it is that’s really happening here. The end goal, of course, is getting to a point where we can no longer be activated in this way. When we no longer become activated, it means we have cleared up and resolved our issues. How cool would that be to no longer bring this stuff with us into our next relationship? Wow!
This is a key realization. When we experience challenges and difficulties in our lives, it is often because we are holding onto those unresolved issues as they get activated rather than actually releasing that material as it makes itself known to us. We are not always aware that this is the reason. And as stated before, until we are willing to look at the truth of the reason behind our activation, that energy cannot be healed or resolved.
There is another danger we need to be aware of, which is thinking the reason for our challenges or difficulties is someone else’s fault. It can feel that way, because perhaps something they said or did activated us, but the activation is a result of our unhealed and unresolved issues, not theirs.
Think of someone outside of yourself that you have, what you would consider, a significant relationship with—it could be a parent, a friend, a business associate, a sibling. Whoever that person is, when you think of this person, you know you value this relationship and care about this person. As you think about this person, has there ever been a time where you find one of you has blamed the other for something that just occurred? Have you ever considered that the reason why you might be feeling what you’re feeling when blaming the other, is because of something you did, or even experienced prior to whatever it is you’re currently blaming them for?
I remember years ago, this was me. So many times I thought the reason why I was feeling what I was feeling was because of someone else. It took me a long time to get to these truths. These teachings I learned, quite frankly, in a way that was very painful to me. I’ve been slapped around from one side to the other many times in the context of my relationships. And so much had to do with this, what I now refer to as, a misplacement of projected energy. A misplacement of projected energy would be, for example; I would get activated, usually with anger, and project it on to others. I was very angry by the time I was eighteen. And for the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was so angry.
Because I did not understand this anger or what to do with it when the people in my life would activate something within me, I would project that anger on to them. This would then cause rifts over time between us, which became very frustrating because, again, I didn’t understand what was actually happening. All I knew was what I was experiencing as a result of this unhealed, projected energy that kept manifesting. During this time I was so addicted to food; and back then, I didn’t even know that I had an addiction. What I did know though, is that I couldn’t go longer than four hours without putting food in my body. When I did go longer, that anger would come up and then it just became a question of who I would project it on. Those on the receiving end of my projection would think they’d done something to anger me. In some cases that was true, but in most cases it was not. What they were doing back then was showing me how angry I already was.
I finally discovered the truth. The reason behind everything that is happening in our lives has something to do with us and our relationship with ourselves. This awareness can be the beginning of an amazing journey that will not only transform our relationship with self, but also will transform our relationships with others, including the letting go of those relationships that are no longer serving us. There could not be a more important reason to take this journey. Discovering how to have fulfilling and truly meaningful relationships with others in our lives, including the relationship with ourselves, could be one of the most significant acomplishments of our journey in life!
© Dale Halaway – Seminars That Inspire, LLC – www.SeminarsThatInspire.com Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License. This license allows for redistribution, commercial and non-commercial, as long as it is passed along unchanged and in whole, with credit to Dale Haloway and a link to www.seminarsthatinspire.com.